I Build My Own Guardrails. Sometimes I Tear Them Down.

I've finally realized trusting myself usually makes sense. I need to write more and be authentic. I can do that. Actually, that sounds kinda fun. :)

One beautiful thing about my new-found freedom is I define my own ‘guardrails.’ I am the lone approval authority for their design, placement, and removal.

Just as we obey street signs when we drive, when we navigate the roads of life, we tend to follow authority figures: leaders, mentors, experts, managers, bosses, teachers, parents... They provide guidance in many ways. Sometimes even the big picture ones (like Interstate exits) can be overwhelming when there are simply too many of them.¹ Regardless, those relationships all assume one of two things:

1 - We are forced to follow.

or

2 - We have chosen to follow.

Outside of that, we wander aimlessly… or we lead. Leaders need guardrails.

In today’s world, we are surrounded by experts. As a new writer here on Substack I am practically drowning in them. So many people with widely varying levels of success want to teach me how to write, how to write better, how to grow an online publication, how to connect with my readers, etc…

I already started curating some “experts” out of my Substack feed. I'm in a weird spot. Everyone is telling me what to do and how to do it, but I have to figure out who to listen to. There are examples of “success” all around me, but my PTSD and ADHD tend to push me in directions I don't really want to go. I need to find the right road.

I need to mind the guardrails.

I also need the right guardrails to keep me on the road as I figure out which way I'm going.

I am not yet ready to follow any wide path laid out before me.

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Outline:

• Assessing Guardrails

• If you’re going to break a rule, first understand it.

• Where is the place “I belong”

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Assessing Guardrails

Let’s start with some clarity on how I see the term “guardrail” in this context.

I see guardrails as a big picture “set of parameters” or “guidelines” to follow that are designed to prevent catastrophe. Guardrails should be clearly visible, strong, and avoided. We also generally ignore them. They are there “just in case” to keep us on the road if we get distracted or fall asleep at the wheel.

In life, regardless of our situation, we typically have guardrails to follow:

Want to pass a test? Study.

Want a paycheck? Get a job.

Want to keep your job? Show up on time. Follow the rules.

Want a promotion? Learn the system and work it.

Want to make good money? Master a rare and vital skill.

Want to run a business? Find your niche'. Solve a problem. Serve your customer.

In the aircrew world, perhaps a good analogy would be Cautions and Warnings. (Notes are strong suggestions, not requirements - white lines, not yellow)

When you fly, you are told in an emergency to don your own mask before you help someone else. That’s kind of what I’m discussing here today.

Time to Decide - Which guardrails to build or tear down?

If I don’t like a guardrail, I can remove it. First, I should probably do a very thorough investigation as to why it was built in the first place and be certain it should be removed - but it is my decision. It is my risk to take.

Some guardrails are temporary while roads are improved. We tear them down and rebuild them if we need them again.

Sometimes we find new roads, with new guardrails. Those out-of-the-way, scenic, windy mountain roads were fun, but they are behind us now.

The old guardrails still belong in place; we’re simply on different roads.

When it comes to writing here, I feel like I’ve just gotten off a plane starting a road trip, but I’m not sure exactly where I’m going or which road to take. I rented a nice car. I know my destination is somewhere over the mountains. Right now I’m navigating through the country roads and enjoying some scenery. I should probably stop, study the maps, and figure out which interstate I need. Then I can have some long, solid, straight-ish guardrails, hit the pedal, and really get started.

I am in the middle of a significant and rapid personal transformation. If I feel like writing something completely new on a Saturday morning, I need the freedom to do that. I have the freedom to do that. It is important I stay mindful of these things. :)

A couple weeks ago I wrote this:

I’m starting to recognize this journey here is about much more than weekly 4,000 word posts. It is also a marathon and not a sprint.

It seems (the “experts say”) I should be posting frequent, short, actionable nuggets that you find useful. That’s how Substack works. That’s how to write online. That’s what I am supposed to do here.

Yeah… that’s not how I’m gonna roll…

I began my first post here by saying:

I don't know exactly what this will be, but I will start by telling my story. If you find it interesting, perhaps I'll continue for a while. 8^P

I thought “my story” meant a collection of past adventures and lessons learned. Apparently it is far more than that. I am living a story worth telling right now. I would like to continue telling it for a while.

Let’s start 2025 with a look at some guardrails we might use to keep us on the road as we begin this new adventure.

The following article illustrates a perspective very much like what I am trying to cultivate in my writing and express today. It uses the term “advice” like the way I use “guardrails.” Conventional wisdom, expert advice - those are guardrails we sometimes choose to adopt. We find more in books, from gurus, and from mentors and others in our lives.

When I started writing this piece I needed just the right nudge to dial in my message. The quotes below best express the key points of clarity I found for today’s missive. The article itself is packed full of solid insight directly applicable to this stage of my journey and today’s discussion on guardrails.

The internet is awash with surface level superficial content and I don’t want to contribute to more of that.

I want to go deeper.

I want to take the time to think. To contemplate. To rewrite. To scrap it. To start again and only publish something when I feel it’s right.

Benjamin Antoine

Forget about "adding value": 6 lessons from 6 months of Substacking

This is not about force, discipline or outcomes.

This is about curiosity, exploration and experimentation.
-

The 2hour Creator Stack

Writing here on Substack is a journey of self-discovery - certainly for me, perhaps somewhat for you too, if I’m doing things right.

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“If you’re going to break a rule, first understand why it exists.”

That phrase can be easily misinterpreted or misused, but it is valuable when understood and applied correctly. I’ve used it with my kids most of their lives. It was only bad advice (or interpreted poorly) when the kids underestimated their ability to fully understand the “why” or the full implications of breaking the rule in question. In many ways, I’m making my own rules (guardrails) here on Substack, so I need to address them. ;p

I had a fantastic chat with a reader - one of the rare few who I believe actually read everything I’ve written here so far. He helped me see how I’ve already started to box myself in here unnecessarily and unintentionally.

After that conversation I reevaluated my guardrails for writing here and want to share three big ones:

Guardrail #1:
- What: Set Publishing deadlines.
- Why: Publishing deadlines may evolve. Saturday’s deadline will not change.
You deserve and should expect something from me every Saturday afternoon. I made a promise. I kept it. I intend to continue keeping it. However, I need to be careful about creating additional expectations.
- How: One deadline a week is all I can handle at this point. Anything more than a weekly Saturday post will be considered a bonus.

Just a few short weeks ago I stretched far outside my comfort zone when I first posted here. I took it further with my promise to post weekly. I went a little too far posting extra missives and previews during the week. You get my best when I don’t over-commit. Baby steps, jofty.

Guardrail #2: Topic Schedules²
- What: The topics of my posts need to stay flexible, at least for now.
- Why: Rigid topic requirements stifle my creativity, make writing a chore, reduce the quality of my writing, and tangibly diminish my chances of writing here long term.
- How: I will try to stop forecasting expected topics and take things one post at a time.

Where my brain goes, so follows my writing. I want to allow that relationship to grow from there without stifling it. This guardrail seems important. ;^)

Guardrail #3:
- What: Create voiceovers for all posted articles.
- Why: I neglect an important part of my audience without them. But they don’t have to be perfect. I still struggle with that type of media, but so be it. The voiceovers need to exist and work. That’s a big rock. Polishing the audio is a little rock or perhaps a dandelion — for now. I’ll get better at that. :)
- How: Article voiceovers need to happen. I will endeavor to include them at the time of posting for easy access via email links. Please bear with me as I learn how to get the audio quality up to standards I have not yet defined.

I say all that to say this:

I will not place unnecessary restrictions on myself here. I’ve already done so and that stops now.

When I said I would publish an Empathy missive, I felt it implied “by next week.” When I later said I would post it on January 4th or 11th, I did so mostly because I felt a need to clarify an expectation I unintentionally set. Now I believe the bulk of that missive will end up in my book.

That topic is a lot of words. It will need to be tackled slowly, piece by piece. I find wrangling ideas and keeping them coherent gets tough after about 2,000 words or so. I hope practice helps me get better at tackling large ideas and posts.

Out of respect for your time and the space we are building here together, the “full” missive on Empathy is unlikely to be dropped as a single lengthy read to overflow your inbox. Also, I have so many other things to write about, so I need to move further work on Empathy to the back burner for now. Thankfully, exploring Empathy and Stoicism has already been tangibly helpful in my life. I hope it provided something useful to you as well.

For now, I need to focus on my new craft. Adding oppressive schedules or a need to satisfy paying customers will lead me astray. I need to build a solid, sustainable foundation first.

“Flexibility is the Key to Airpower” - That was a mantra throughout my career in the aviation community. That’s a phrase I’ve been reexamining a lot lately. So far it seems the flexibility I need here is the ability to refocus my efforts and stay mentally nimble. If I handcuff myself to a course of action that ceases to make sense, I am an idiot if I don’t use the key.

Part of respecting your time means being open and honest with you. It does not mean we should be okay with me painting myself into corners when I don’t even know how to use the paint brush. ;^p

we all have to start somewhere…

We, as human beings, are far too accustomed to having our agency limited. When it comes to things like following the rules that generally makes sense… but sometimes we have the luxury to reconstruct the rules to suit our needs.

As I said last week, I will always have you at the front of my mind when putting my thoughts to the keyboard and publishing here. For all the other stuff that happens behind the scenes, my focus will be necessarily on me for a while.

Finding the guardrails or best practices here on Substack may be a little messy, but that’s part of the fun and part of the process. I have a wide scope of agency here… I intend to explore it.

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Where is the “place I belong”?

A couple years ago, my wife and I had the opportunity to find a new place to call home.³ During that time, we drove many, many country roads. Finding my “home” here on Substack feels like a similar journey.

For the foreseeable future, writing, here on Substack, is the place I belong.

My happy place is a routine that will allow me to exist frequently in a ‘flow state’ of some sort.⁴ Writing gives me that.

I’ve been struggling to find any venue of industriousness that is possible with the way my brain works now. Writing seems to be “it.” Now I need to figure out how to do “it” well.

After getting started here I quickly realized writing resonates with me far beyond my initial reasons to begin. Since this is a completely new road to me, I need guardrails to keep me on track. I see a million of them, but they aren’t mine. I get to make my own. If they don’t work well, I tear them down.

This is my road, these are my guardrails, and I am a work crew of one.

I thought I wanted: (a rigid framework, checklists, perfection)

• A rigid posting schedule — I do, but just the one on Saturday seems quite sufficient for now. :)

• A rigid topic schedule - I planned to paint a picture and write a book. I still do. Starting with an outline and a rigid topic schedule is not the way to do it right now.

• A clear SMART goal culminating in a book ready to publish - I do, but it’s not quite time for that yet.

I actually need: (to be able to write what I want when it’s time to write)

• multiple open posts (probably shorter) for brain dumps

• no (or minimal) fixed topic schedule

• at least one deadline per week to keep me accountable

This means:

• My book will still get written, just not by this summer. :)

• Weekly posts will not be fully scripted and predictable.

• I will try to manage your expectations and won’t tell you what I’m posting next unless I’ve already written it ;p

• My posts may be like a box of chocolates - you never know what you’re gonna get.

This road I choose now runs counter-intuitive to so many things I think I “know” and the guardrails set so clearly before me. You are likely to understand me better and be more engaged if I am predictable. Bouncing around topics like a lunatic feels like I’m failing to write with you in mind.

Once I get enough “printable” material written ahead, I may have the freedom to craft a broad and more deliberate narrative and present my ideas in a sequence that paints a more cohesive picture… or even follows an outline fitting of a book. ;^p

For now, I hope you enjoy a box of chocolates. :)

I tend to think things will happen faster than they should - as if because I’m choosing to do this now, I should already be doing it at a professional level.

I need to relax.

I just recently decided to give this a serious effort. I need to give myself a little patience to figure out what that means and how this works.

I may get the branding “wrong.” I may cover the “wrong” topics. I may write poorly. I may not post with the “right” frequency. So be it. Pouring this foundation is going to take some time and I want to get it right.

For now, I need to write what’s in my head and on my heart. A professional product will develop over time. Thank you for your patience as I figure this out. I am grateful you are along for the ride. :)

Thank you again for being here. I’ll see you next Saturday.

Take care,

- jofty 8^)

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You can influence our journey together. Polls here are super quick and easy. I have one below so you can make your voice heard.

I have already written a bit on each of these topics and look forward to seeing what interests you most. 8^)

1. These signs all look important… I think.

2. A great example of my need for flexibility with topic scheduling is the 2024 holiday season. I suggested I may write a 2024 recap and 2025 goal post. I went through my calendar, made a mental outline, and wrote a few hundred words. I opened that draft several times later and don’t think I added a single word. For some reason, I just hit a wall on that topic.

If I had promised to cover that, I’m sure I would have finished the job. Maybe the promise itself would have given me the motivation to want to write the post. But that would have needlessly diminished the value of why I write here. You wouldn’t get my best work, and I would likely be stressed out while writing. Yeah… no.

In my vision of the future here, you will see planned topics on a calendar to look forward to reading. Maybe I’ll get there. Maybe that’s not going be my thing.

Rigid schedules and checklists have been my lifeblood for a very long time. Here, I need to be able to call audibles. My drive to write apparently needs some freedom in this regard.

3. I wrote a bit about our 2023 transition from Germany back to the US in my first post.

For a little more context here, we narrowed our search down to two states and had the luxury to spend a few weeks driving around looking for the right place to call home. We spent a lot of time and energy searching - not just for a house - but for a home.

4. Personal note: It is 2124 on 31 December. I’m sitting at my desk, my work (this article) on my left screen - my email full-screen on the right, essentially a wallpaper since everything stopped there hours ago. I’m listening to the radio and see my Charlie Brown Christmas tree out of the corner of my eye. My office pulses from fire lamps and twinkles with my dad’s favorite icicle lights around the room. It has been a rough day, but I am content. I am “at work,” by choice, with two hours left in 2024. In front of my keyboard, knowing you will read this, I know I have a healthy place to put my thoughts. This is where I belong. Thank you.

I might not know what I’m doing here yet, but I know I’m in the right place. :)