I really resonated with what you said about the tension between being authentic and building connections. Like you, I’ve noticed that society often seems to value connection over being true to ourselves.
As someone who tries to build authentic relationships, I’ve found it difficult to strike the right balance. Sometimes I feel like I know what my authentic self wants to say or do, but sticking to that might make the connection weaker or even damage it. It makes me wonder is that version of myself really authentic or am I just avoiding discomfort?
I also related to your thoughts on people pleasing. I enjoy helping others too and it usually comes from a good place but I’ve started to realise that some people might see it differently, maybe as insincere or trying too hard.
Your words made me think about how important it is to stay true to myself while also being aware of how others see my honesty. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad to hear you found something relatable and thought provoking. :)
I'm with you on authenticity requiring a difficult balance. Respect, empathy, and curiosity generally help me avoid being overly abrasive, but I've found my lack of understanding what others want complicates things... a lot.
I'm starting to believe the sense of discomfort I frequently feel when riding that line between authenticity and connecting may be a defensive response or a type of survival instinct. If this seems like I'm anywhere near the mark, look for my future post about 'Authenticity as Self Defense' or 'Authenticity as a Survival Skill.' I think that missive may address this concern from another perspective.
As for people pleasing, you may enjoy the link I put in footnote 2. There's a lot of engaging perspective in there about common views people have about those who strive for authenticity. Much of it seemed like "common sense" to me after I read it, but seeing those thoughts written out helped me internalize and understand them better. They also helped fill a few gaps in my own perception of myself and shed some light on lingering questions of past interpersonal miscommunications. I wish I'd have found that link years ago.
I really resonated with what you said about the tension between being authentic and building connections. Like you, I’ve noticed that society often seems to value connection over being true to ourselves.
As someone who tries to build authentic relationships, I’ve found it difficult to strike the right balance. Sometimes I feel like I know what my authentic self wants to say or do, but sticking to that might make the connection weaker or even damage it. It makes me wonder is that version of myself really authentic or am I just avoiding discomfort?
I also related to your thoughts on people pleasing. I enjoy helping others too and it usually comes from a good place but I’ve started to realise that some people might see it differently, maybe as insincere or trying too hard.
Your words made me think about how important it is to stay true to myself while also being aware of how others see my honesty. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad to hear you found something relatable and thought provoking. :)
I'm with you on authenticity requiring a difficult balance. Respect, empathy, and curiosity generally help me avoid being overly abrasive, but I've found my lack of understanding what others want complicates things... a lot.
I'm starting to believe the sense of discomfort I frequently feel when riding that line between authenticity and connecting may be a defensive response or a type of survival instinct. If this seems like I'm anywhere near the mark, look for my future post about 'Authenticity as Self Defense' or 'Authenticity as a Survival Skill.' I think that missive may address this concern from another perspective.
As for people pleasing, you may enjoy the link I put in footnote 2. There's a lot of engaging perspective in there about common views people have about those who strive for authenticity. Much of it seemed like "common sense" to me after I read it, but seeing those thoughts written out helped me internalize and understand them better. They also helped fill a few gaps in my own perception of myself and shed some light on lingering questions of past interpersonal miscommunications. I wish I'd have found that link years ago.
Thanks again for your comment! 8^)