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Chris Harrison's avatar

The fact you are getting a handle on biases is very admirable Terry

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Terry Duke's avatar

Thanks. It's a fun journey I didn't expect to take. :)

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Chris Harrison's avatar

I’m writing about this a lot - more to come I think you might find some of my thoughts helpful - I have a lot of this on instagram too give me a follow and feel free to ask questions @thehealthierlifecoach

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G. Chu's avatar

It's very admirable that you're working with a therapist to change some of the biases in your head.

Most men don’t like to spend the time to do the internal work and reflect.

There's a saying in Buddhism about pain and suffering. Pain is like the feeling you feel when you get hurt physically, like if a bullet hits your arm. After you get hit by the bullet, that pain is inevitable.

Suffering is optional. Suffering is more like the pain you are feeling that is caused by certain ideas and beliefs you have that are not necessarily true (aka. biases). And when you change unhelpful ideas and beliefs in your head, you are reducing the suffering in your life.

Challenging your own biases is like its own hero's journey. And I can’t wait to see you on the other side of your personal transformation.

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Terry Duke's avatar

Thanks, G. I appreciate your support. :)

Ya' know... I don't know if I would have chosen to make the time and put in the effort for this level of self-reflection while I was still employed full-time. I'm not sure I would have wanted to, even if I noticed I should.

As much of a struggle as retirement has been for me so far, it is important I appreciate that I do have the time now to work through this stuff.

I really like your comparison on Pain vs. Suffering. A large portion of my "suffering" does appear to be caused (or exacerbated) by my beliefs or biases - certainly things inside my own head. I think that's part of my frustration ... I feel like I should be able to tackle this crap.

Writing here helps. 8^)

Thanks again for your comment!

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G. Chu's avatar

Keep writing, man! Looking forward to your future posts.

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