In our daily lives distraction and task saturation can be frustrating and sometimes overwhelming challenges to overcome. In extreme cases, we can discuss glass balls.
Hey jofty, I too have had struggles with task management and prioritization. My story involves the battle I have with too much autonomy and flexibility. When there is not enough structure in my day or at my job, I am left frustrated to no end. Stymied would be a great word for this or the feeling of defeat.
In my last job with the churches, I learned that there are folks out there who thrive in environments without direction or SOPs (I *love* SOPs); some people don't mind and even *prefer* to meander aimlessly down the road. If there is no SOP, I'll create one. My frustration with the lack of direction or procedure in my last job drove me to resign.
Who knows if we're trained, programmed, forged, honed (indoctrinated?), as you mention - perhaps all of these. But my military service has shaped my brain. Thankfully, our brains remain moldable throughout time (neuroplasticity), and I am wondering now...do I work hard to retrain my brain, or simply create an environment for myself and find a job for myself where my brain doesn't have to work so hard?
Or, is it a mix of both? I believe we are among many with these questions for sure!
Rachael, thank you for sharing with us. Your comment is a great example of the type of thought and reflection I hope to encourage by writing this book and posting here as I go. A proper response to this comment is probably worth a Saturday missive of its own - but I'll try, or start here. :)
Stymied - that word is perfect. Before I retired I occasionally joked with my wife that I would be the most kick-ass house-husband ever known after we got out. I was mostly joking, but the point was I figured retiring would provide the perfect conditions to thrive. After all, "Flexibility is the Key to Airpower" was a driving mantra most of my career, so more flexibility should be better, right?
When things didn't work out easily at first, I tried to make SOPs, primarily in the form of daily checklists, weekly plans, and longer term goals for projects around the house. Those were directly in line with core professional skills I developed for years. Piece of cake! ... Nope. My inability to make those types of things work was incredibly frustrating, and a huge surprise. I felt I was defeated in a series of battles all over my own house - and almost every single one should have been an easy victory.
To complicate things, most of those losses were hard fought. I didn't concede them, respond late, or fail to allocate resources to fight those battles. I noticed the challenges coming, proactively adjusted, fought, sometimes sent reinforcements, occasionally even received some, and still lost... every. single. battle. As you may too well understand, there was a point over this last year where I found myself completely spent. "Bingo Fuel" was called after our last missed approach and there was still no runway in sight. At a couple points I kinda wiped the sleep out of my eyes and remembered there were still rubber balls bouncing around to collect.
I don't know if I'd call this a "core principal" of mine, but it's a concept I've held unwaveringly for almost 30 years: I don't pick fights I'm not fairly certain to win. (I think that's why I picked up French Horn in my senior year of high school) I really don't like fighting for the sake of fighting. I like to save my strength for when it matters most. Being forced to expend large amounts of unplanned effort on battles that weren't supposed to happen, repeatedly, and then lose them... that did not match any path to "thriving" I had envisioned.
Almost two years of solid planning for my retirement and I never once saw this internal battle coming.
If that in any way describes your feeling of frustration that led you to resign from your last job, then I can see why you left. I think it should be safe to say I'm glad to hear you had the freedom, ability, and strength to make that choice.
As for what they did to us in the service, I think "indoctrinated" is clearly appropriate. Putting that word alongside trained, forged, and honed, makes me think perhaps it is better as an umbrella term a more skilled writer may have initially chosen. ;p More to the point, I think I assumed my military indoctrination would be an asset in my civilian life. While it has been in many ways, it has proven to be an overall net negative so far, but hopefully mostly because I'm still figuring everything out.
As for neuroplasticity - that is a word I've been hearing frequently over the last year or so. I think it's a very good thing that appears to be a tool available to pretty much all of us... if we can just find it and figure out how to use it. I'm not going to promise an article on neuroplasticity (promising an article is already backfiring this week) but I will say that is a term I expect to occasionally swerve in to and do hope to discuss on its own at some point.
Which leads us directly to your question. I think you identified a couple solid options and that is already a great place to start. I feel a similar choice myself, but it's like the retraining already kicked in to high gear without my consent and finding or creating an appropriate environment for my brain to relax has been an ongoing challenge. Oddly enough, writing here feels strangely comfortable and relaxing. That gives me a glimmer of hope that I am on a solid path to finding an answer.
To attempt to actually answer your question, my guess is it is probably similar to many other things in life: Unique to each individual, analog, and constantly evolving. I doubt there's an autopilot switch to engage for a comfortable cruise. If you find one, check the tech data before you hit it. :)
Thanks again for sharing, and for your insightful comment!
Thanks jofty for your thoughts on this! I’ve let things marinate for a few days… I think I need to be mindful of what kind of boss I’m working for. My supervisor at the churches gave me so much freedom - too much - in a job position that was just created. I sort of got lost in all of that freedom, like walking through a blizzard without a compass or GPS.
My manager at my current job is very different. I find myself more relaxed and capable. He is much more hands-on, present, and observant. He is never far away from a problem but he doesn’t micromanage. I think he’s got that balance down.
As I prepare for another set of interviews for a more permanent job after the holidays, I need to pay attention to my supervisor-to-be’s leadership style and the culture of the workplace. I need to be wary of job descriptions that include phrases like: “ability to work under pressure in a fast-paced environment,” and “works well independently without much direction.” YUCK.
I appreciate this space you’ve created to discuss these kinds of challenges!
"Too much freedom" sounds like something an inmate, jailor, tyrant, or parent would say. I say this somewhat tongue-in-cheek because what you describe sounds like what I feel frequently... like a child.
Seriously, I figured after a 24 year career with a generally upward trajectory and a few stops along the way to learn how to lead, I'd know how to lead myself. wtf? (we may be back to 'all afterburner, no rudder' again) My recent struggles are frequently ones I thought I addressed in kindergarten.
Your comment is very insightful in a few ways. The blizzard analogy is great because that's how I see my job as a father: a guide. If the world is the storm I am the compass or GPS for my kids until they find their own tools and their own way. That kind of implies I'm already capable of the same! Your description of your current manager and the balance he's found sounds like an uncommon and refreshing place from my experience. Your insight on job descriptions is perfect. I know neither would work for me anymore, but I would have been quite drawn to the latter until recently.
It never occurred to me to pay attention to the leadership style of a future supervisor. I think that's another thing I don't fully understand or appreciate from living in the military bubble for so long. I rarely had much real agency regarding my office assignment or my future supervisor. On occasions when I had opportunities to direct those types of things, the future individuals above me didn't really matter much (beyond the interview) because they would be leaving. When/if I tell my story of "The Interview" I will have a few more details to add after this thought sparked memories of observations I previously overlooked or undervalued.
Finally, thank you for your comment about this space. I still don't know exactly what is being built here, but comments like yours seem to be helping set a foundation for a space of healing and reflection. I think I can get on board with that. :)
Hey jofty, I too have had struggles with task management and prioritization. My story involves the battle I have with too much autonomy and flexibility. When there is not enough structure in my day or at my job, I am left frustrated to no end. Stymied would be a great word for this or the feeling of defeat.
In my last job with the churches, I learned that there are folks out there who thrive in environments without direction or SOPs (I *love* SOPs); some people don't mind and even *prefer* to meander aimlessly down the road. If there is no SOP, I'll create one. My frustration with the lack of direction or procedure in my last job drove me to resign.
Who knows if we're trained, programmed, forged, honed (indoctrinated?), as you mention - perhaps all of these. But my military service has shaped my brain. Thankfully, our brains remain moldable throughout time (neuroplasticity), and I am wondering now...do I work hard to retrain my brain, or simply create an environment for myself and find a job for myself where my brain doesn't have to work so hard?
Or, is it a mix of both? I believe we are among many with these questions for sure!
Rachael, thank you for sharing with us. Your comment is a great example of the type of thought and reflection I hope to encourage by writing this book and posting here as I go. A proper response to this comment is probably worth a Saturday missive of its own - but I'll try, or start here. :)
Stymied - that word is perfect. Before I retired I occasionally joked with my wife that I would be the most kick-ass house-husband ever known after we got out. I was mostly joking, but the point was I figured retiring would provide the perfect conditions to thrive. After all, "Flexibility is the Key to Airpower" was a driving mantra most of my career, so more flexibility should be better, right?
When things didn't work out easily at first, I tried to make SOPs, primarily in the form of daily checklists, weekly plans, and longer term goals for projects around the house. Those were directly in line with core professional skills I developed for years. Piece of cake! ... Nope. My inability to make those types of things work was incredibly frustrating, and a huge surprise. I felt I was defeated in a series of battles all over my own house - and almost every single one should have been an easy victory.
To complicate things, most of those losses were hard fought. I didn't concede them, respond late, or fail to allocate resources to fight those battles. I noticed the challenges coming, proactively adjusted, fought, sometimes sent reinforcements, occasionally even received some, and still lost... every. single. battle. As you may too well understand, there was a point over this last year where I found myself completely spent. "Bingo Fuel" was called after our last missed approach and there was still no runway in sight. At a couple points I kinda wiped the sleep out of my eyes and remembered there were still rubber balls bouncing around to collect.
I don't know if I'd call this a "core principal" of mine, but it's a concept I've held unwaveringly for almost 30 years: I don't pick fights I'm not fairly certain to win. (I think that's why I picked up French Horn in my senior year of high school) I really don't like fighting for the sake of fighting. I like to save my strength for when it matters most. Being forced to expend large amounts of unplanned effort on battles that weren't supposed to happen, repeatedly, and then lose them... that did not match any path to "thriving" I had envisioned.
Almost two years of solid planning for my retirement and I never once saw this internal battle coming.
If that in any way describes your feeling of frustration that led you to resign from your last job, then I can see why you left. I think it should be safe to say I'm glad to hear you had the freedom, ability, and strength to make that choice.
As for what they did to us in the service, I think "indoctrinated" is clearly appropriate. Putting that word alongside trained, forged, and honed, makes me think perhaps it is better as an umbrella term a more skilled writer may have initially chosen. ;p More to the point, I think I assumed my military indoctrination would be an asset in my civilian life. While it has been in many ways, it has proven to be an overall net negative so far, but hopefully mostly because I'm still figuring everything out.
As for neuroplasticity - that is a word I've been hearing frequently over the last year or so. I think it's a very good thing that appears to be a tool available to pretty much all of us... if we can just find it and figure out how to use it. I'm not going to promise an article on neuroplasticity (promising an article is already backfiring this week) but I will say that is a term I expect to occasionally swerve in to and do hope to discuss on its own at some point.
Which leads us directly to your question. I think you identified a couple solid options and that is already a great place to start. I feel a similar choice myself, but it's like the retraining already kicked in to high gear without my consent and finding or creating an appropriate environment for my brain to relax has been an ongoing challenge. Oddly enough, writing here feels strangely comfortable and relaxing. That gives me a glimmer of hope that I am on a solid path to finding an answer.
To attempt to actually answer your question, my guess is it is probably similar to many other things in life: Unique to each individual, analog, and constantly evolving. I doubt there's an autopilot switch to engage for a comfortable cruise. If you find one, check the tech data before you hit it. :)
Thanks again for sharing, and for your insightful comment!
Thanks jofty for your thoughts on this! I’ve let things marinate for a few days… I think I need to be mindful of what kind of boss I’m working for. My supervisor at the churches gave me so much freedom - too much - in a job position that was just created. I sort of got lost in all of that freedom, like walking through a blizzard without a compass or GPS.
My manager at my current job is very different. I find myself more relaxed and capable. He is much more hands-on, present, and observant. He is never far away from a problem but he doesn’t micromanage. I think he’s got that balance down.
As I prepare for another set of interviews for a more permanent job after the holidays, I need to pay attention to my supervisor-to-be’s leadership style and the culture of the workplace. I need to be wary of job descriptions that include phrases like: “ability to work under pressure in a fast-paced environment,” and “works well independently without much direction.” YUCK.
I appreciate this space you’ve created to discuss these kinds of challenges!
"Too much freedom" sounds like something an inmate, jailor, tyrant, or parent would say. I say this somewhat tongue-in-cheek because what you describe sounds like what I feel frequently... like a child.
Seriously, I figured after a 24 year career with a generally upward trajectory and a few stops along the way to learn how to lead, I'd know how to lead myself. wtf? (we may be back to 'all afterburner, no rudder' again) My recent struggles are frequently ones I thought I addressed in kindergarten.
Your comment is very insightful in a few ways. The blizzard analogy is great because that's how I see my job as a father: a guide. If the world is the storm I am the compass or GPS for my kids until they find their own tools and their own way. That kind of implies I'm already capable of the same! Your description of your current manager and the balance he's found sounds like an uncommon and refreshing place from my experience. Your insight on job descriptions is perfect. I know neither would work for me anymore, but I would have been quite drawn to the latter until recently.
It never occurred to me to pay attention to the leadership style of a future supervisor. I think that's another thing I don't fully understand or appreciate from living in the military bubble for so long. I rarely had much real agency regarding my office assignment or my future supervisor. On occasions when I had opportunities to direct those types of things, the future individuals above me didn't really matter much (beyond the interview) because they would be leaving. When/if I tell my story of "The Interview" I will have a few more details to add after this thought sparked memories of observations I previously overlooked or undervalued.
Finally, thank you for your comment about this space. I still don't know exactly what is being built here, but comments like yours seem to be helping set a foundation for a space of healing and reflection. I think I can get on board with that. :)