2 Years in a Blink - A Pause for Introspection
So much has changed so quickly. Let's pause to appreciate that.
The last couple years of my life have passed in the blink of an eye.
I have changed.
The world around me has changed.
Both; Significantly.
This Substack is a place for healing and reflection. As such, I often learn things each week as we go along. I also said I need the freedom to start a new post on a Saturday morning. That's kinda what I ended up doing today. :p
I spent the early part of this week writing a post looking forward. I also outlined a topic schedule through our 3-month anniversary coming up in a few short weeks. The foundation we are laying here is taking shape and I look forward to exploring that with you soon.
Today, however, I need to pause and answer a couple questions I almost asked last week.
In my “Be Authentic” post, I wrote this:
One major change I’ve felt in the civilian world and struggled to identify until this week: my authenticity is always questioned. So is my integrity.
If that was the case in my career, it was the exception, not the rule. Or, I’m a completely different person. Or both.
Being a civilian is new to me.
Over the course of this week, I came to realize I was really asking myself two questions in a couple different ways:
- Am I a different person? / How much have I changed?
- Is the world a different place? / How much has my environment changed?
Today, I will pause for a moment of introspection and attempt to answer those questions.
I hope you’ll tag along for the ride. 8^)
Outline
Big Changes - Pause for Introspection
Big Changes - Pause for Introspection
Writing here has done so much for me. I tend to get pulled, or my brain tends to pull me, in so many different directions.
Writing here has been my rudder - the one thing I can use to steer my energy when distractions loom. Meeting this one weekly publication deadline is enough to keep me focused and prevent countless distractions during the week. On top of that, writing publicly keeps me grounded and humble (I’m workin’ on it) in many ways.
Knowing you will read this gives me the strength and motivation to focus my thoughts and try to present something coherent and enjoyable. That exercise alone is tremendously helpful to me.
Thank you for reading. :)
This week I blinked and suddenly realized I retired over a year and a half ago. How did that happen? Where did the last two years go?
I expected to spend that time laying a foundation for our family. We bought a house, settled in (albeit far more slowly than I expected), and began crafting new lives for ourselves. Through all of that, it seems I lost sight of many things about myself and the world around me.
After some further thought, I realized I asked myself these questions in my missive last week:
- Am I a different person? / How much have I changed?
- Is the world a different place? / How much has my environment changed?
I would answer those quite differently now than I would have last week.
My assumption was: no, not really, or not much.
The correct answer is: yes, most definitely, and profoundly.
After last week I was curious -- how much have I changed? How much have the people around me changed? ummm... a LOT. I think I seriously underestimated the differences in both.
How much has my environment changed?
In the last two years I’ve retired, we’ve moved across the planet, started a new school and a new job, and now live in a place none of us knew before the summer of 2023.
Though we’ve moved many times over 24 years in the military and this was our 5th time as a family, every time we moved, so much stayed the same. We didn't have family with us before, we didn't have family after we moved. More to the point, we had a military family of some sort waiting for us each time. I took that for granted.
We showed up here with no friends, no jobs, and no real idea how to fit in. That’s a lot of big changes that should be appreciated. At least we spoke the language. :)
To begin our previous four years before coming here, we also moved to a different continent with a different culture. We didn't speak the language well. The entire situation was exacerbated by living in a remote location away from other Americans, and lockdowns to make it even more fun.1
Going from all of that to retired, away from the military, living in a strange place with a relaxed mindset that likely never locked down, and surrounded by civilian expectations was a LOT of change.
My environment changed.
People around me changed.
These were actually good and intentional things. I need to remember that.
How much have I changed?
I've typically heard it said about men, but I doubt it is gender specific, that they tend to wrap their identities up in their jobs. I certainly did that, and with my eyes wide open. The catch is, the reality of what that truly meant was murky until recently.
While my authentic self has not changed, many things about me have - in real ways that impact the way I interact with the world.
My outward appearance is significantly different. I imagine that probably starts off most interactions with strangers on a different foot than I've been used to my entire life.
Smiling may be a particularly good idea now.
Having empathy toward the perceptions of those around me allows me to offer genuine, authentic smiles. I’ve tried a bit more recently. It actually works, and feels good. Who knew? :)
How far apart do you think these pictures were taken?
If I told you it was about 18 months would you believe me? ;p (The first was taken in July of 2023. The second was December of 2024)
While I just illustrated outward examples of profound personal change in a short period of time, that is only the tip of the iceberg.
So many changes have been rapidly taking place inside my head and my heart over the last couple years. Those are much more difficult to see and understand.2
You, my dear reader, are now likely the most expert in that regard.
Bottom Line: I have changed - a LOT. I need to recognize that. Though ‘the world’ remains largely the same, my environment has changed dramatically. I need to recognize that as well.
Housekeeping
Yay for housekeeping! Managing expectations here is important to me. I believe that goes hand-in-hand with respecting your time. Here are a few notes to keep us on the same page.
Welcome
If you are a new subscriber or follower - Thank you for your support!
I hope I can continue to provide insight, perspective, comically bad English, or whatever else it is that brings you back for more. 8^)
Live Stream Feature
Substack just introduced a video stream feature. I may do a live video stream here sometime in the next couple weeks. If I do, I'll try to give you a heads up the day before. 8^) The new feature looks like it might be a fun tool to try, and it seems other writers are already using it to improve their overall content and strengthen their communities.
3-Month Recap Post
As I mentioned above, our 3-month anniversary is coming up soon!
I'm considering writing a recap or perhaps drafting a content outline for future reference. It feels like we've laid most of a solid foundation here and I believe my previous writing should be more accessible.
Is there anything you are curious to know more about?
Did anything from my earlier writing pique your interest?
Did I leave out a detail you simply need me to address?
I would love to include your question, and maybe even my answer. Perhaps we can try starting an “Ask jofty” section. ?? 8^D
Feedback Request
Other than a couple polls and comment buttons, I haven’t asked for much feedback. That may change going forward. The comments, messages, notes, and chat engagement here have been incredibly encouraging. Thank you.
Substack is a special place to foster a unique sense of community.
As the foundation here starts to settle at “jofty’s Corner” and we begin building “Attempting Assimilation,”3 I look forward to encouraging more participation and testing the waters with the various means available here on this platform.
It's just me here.
I’m the only person here on the other side of the keyboard.
If you would like me to clarify something I’ve written or address anything, feel free to let me know. Your input is valuable to me and helps other readers as well.
If you are a subscriber and are reading this from your email inbox, you can just hit reply. If you prefer, you can also email me directly at: jofty@jofty.net
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Curiosity as a Guidepost
The majority of my writing this week was inspired by a note from
The key piece there is:
“deliberately choose a new path, fully opening yourself up to the unknown, placing a bet on yourself with nothing more than your own curiosity as a guidepost.”
Her thought led me to write almost all of what won’t get published today. :) This note describes my intention writing here on Substack quite well. I am deliberately choosing my own path, opening myself up to the unknown, and following curiosity as a guidepost.
Her words also inspired me to try my hand at narrative writing. I’ve never really done this, and certainly not shared anything like this publicly, so thank you, Alisha, for pushing me a bit outside my comfort zone.
Before my final thoughts, I leave you today with a short story about…
A Day with Curiosity as a Guidepost
It was a clear sunny day in June. Life was unusually chaotic, and that made the day guided by curiosity particularly special.
The old friends had not seen each other for 10 years. So many things had changed, yet so many things, the important things, remained the same. That curious day would prove to be memorable.
They started by exploring the ruins of an old Roman city, far from Rome, along the Rhine where bright summer days were a rare treat.
The cold ancient stone didn't seem to care much about the summer heat and provided a welcome break from the unusually steady sun.
They found it odd using motion sensors to activate talking exhibits telling the story of these structures built almost 2,000 years ago. The maps showing the previous course of the Rhine River and the former size of the city were unmistakable illustrations of the age and history of the place they now stood.
They wandered through the grounds and marveled at the grandeur of what was once a thriving town full of life and activity. They climbed the walls and surveyed the surrounding land. For a short while, they felt what it may have been like to have lived there so long ago and stand ready to defend their home.
The day was still young, and it was time to choose a new path.
They heard there was a festival in town, so they braved the sun, wandered outside the walls, and decided to find out for themselves. This "modern" town, initially built in the 800s AD, was indeed having a bit of a party.
After some Bratwurst mit Senf4, they enjoyed some cotton candy, a couple slushies, and some people-watching. The carnival games spinning in the marketplace and blasting noise echoing through the city completed the party atmosphere when ringed by vendors selling eclectic local wares.
At this this point, the friends needed to escape the chaotic scene and find somewhere quiet, and perhaps some shade.
It was time to choose a new path, so they wandered in to the cathedral.
Though much younger than the Roman ruins, completed as recently as 1544 AD, the cold stone of the ornate cathedral didn't seem to care much about the summer heat either.
After exploring the impressive architecture and appreciating the spectacular stained glass, the friends found stairs leading lower.
While it was pleasantly cool inside, the catacombs below were downright chilly.
While attempting to read one of the old plaques, one of the friends noticed the other stopping, as if to say a silent prayer. A candle was lit. There was another slight pause, then they both silently returned upstairs.
That act, ritual, or remembrance, would remain a curiosity that day. Even though curiosity was the guidepost, the true meaning of that moment was best preserved as a memory of personal significance.
Once again, the friends found themselves in search of a new path - with curiosity as their guide.
This time they wandered around the old brick city, away from the cacophony of the festival. They marveled at the oddities in the store windows, dodged the sun, respected the shade, and even got a couple slushie-induced brain-freezes to solidify the memories of that afternoon.
After wandering, talking, and swinging on a swing, they hopped in the car and realized there was one more city to explore - because the day was still young, and Curiosity was still their Guidepost.5
Final Thoughts
My posts here over the next two weeks may look different. I will be on the road and my writing tools, schedules, and routines will all change. I'd love to have a couple posts polished and scheduled ahead of time, but I'm simply not there yet. :)
However... never fear, my dear reader...
I will post something here every Saturday. 8^)
Thank you again for reading. I wish you a pleasant week and look forward to next Saturday.
Take care,
- jofty 8^)
Just as we started to settle into our new home in Germany around the fall of 2019, the world began to change. Adapting to that required a serious mindset shift.
The lockdowns there were among the most intense on the planet, and we locked down very early. Germany was among the first in the world to be masked by government mandate and had almost immediate and fully sustained near 100% public citizen compliance. Mandatory shopping carts and arrows on grocery store floors were introduced when N95 specs also became mandatory.
Though the restrictions did eventually ease a good while before we left, the cultural shift to the laid-back environment here took much more significant adjustment than I anticipated or appreciated.
I’m workin’ on it. 8^)
This may be the softest launch or announcement possible. Yeah, “Attempting Assimilation” is my working book title. If the phrase looks familiar it’s because I’ve used it a few times around here. 8^)
Unless I come up with something better, you can expect an appropriate site re-brand for this title once I decide to actually do it.
A sausage with mustard (Zenf) on this type of bread roll (Brötchen) is a classic German staple. The crust is typically rather tough but the insides are thick and chewy. I miss these almost as much as I miss the autobahn. ;p
The day of our “curiosity as our guidepost” tour was one of the most memorable of my life. It was a breath of fresh air in the midst of a crazy storm. That one, single, day helped me endure the last few weeks before our major change of retirement and moving our family 4,000 miles away.
Thank you so much for sharing, Terry. You’ve given me a lot to think about! Your writing has inspired me to work with your prompt “have I changed?” this week for a journaling exercise. I also really appreciated the footnotes — it was great to receive the extra context at the end. Keep writing! :)