My Second Attempt at Solitude - Part 1: The Prep
It's time to retreat and test the PBA Framework. Last Sunday, I started printing.
When I first explored Substack, I had a flash of a vision… of what I could possibly build here. It was big, wild, and rather scary. I chose to set it aside as unrealistic and yet another example of what I would come to recognize as overexcitability.
16 months and 80 published articles later, the big picture of my work is starting to look a lot like that initial vision, and I think I’ll be able to tackle it… slowly and deliberately. That, is a different kind of scary.
The road From War to Writing is a journey. On my current path, it seems I have some big choices to make about how to tackle the next leg or two.
It’s time to regroup, refocus, and retreat to solitude… for a few days.
We all need to take occasional breaks. Sometimes that involves getting away for a few days. For me, solitude at a cabin in the woods always seemed like an ideal setting. When I made my first attempt at solitude, I discovered that wasn’t necessarily true.
Those few days of solitude didn’t go how I expected. They were not at all relaxing, but they were informative. They were valuable. That retreat helped me see that I needed to stop the spiral.
That retreat was the start of my healing journey.
That retreat sparked the birth of my writing.
Tomorrow I’m headed out for my Second Attempt at Solitude. With more tools, knowledge, experience, and a framework, I expect this one will look different.
Today’s article will start with a quick note to new readers about what to expect here, then talk more about the goals and mindset of my impending retreat.
Note for New Readers
If you are a new reader or new subscriber, welcome! I’m glad you’re here.
If you’ve noticed things seem a little different here, it may be because I’m still charting my course.
Many writers on Substack post hard-hitting fresh insights several times each week. That’s not a pace I can sustain, nor do I aim for it here.
My work is still 95% creative in nature. By that I mean I’m still pouring foundations and framing structures… not yet showing the first model home or even sending out flyers.
You’re here early. 8^)
At some point I’ll decorate and paint the finished buildings, put up some signs, and start giving tours. For now, I have to keep building, and a brief retreat to regroup is in order.
Thank you for your patience with my pace. :)
Solitude Goals
The primary objective of this retreat is to prove the PBA Framework is effective. Comparing this trip to My First Attempt at Solitude should provide a solid measuring stick.
On my first attempt at solitude, I couldn’t sit still long enough to even watch a movie. I didn’t crack open a single book. Any progress here is a step forward.
If I only accomplish my primary goal, I’ll call that a win.
Goals:
Primary: Relax. Come home rested and refocused. Overwhelm and anxiety commandeered my first retreat. Let’s see if the PBA Framework allows calm and some measure of peace this time around.
Secondary: Read all of my published writing. Revisit what I said. Review my conclusions and assertions. Recall the feelings I experienced while writing and interacting with readers. Sit with them. Gain a bigger picture perspective of my journey … by walking it again, one word at a time. If the PBA Framework is truly effective at combating overwhelm and anxiety, I should be able to get through most or all of it.
Bonus: Annotate my work. Mark/Flag/Highlight/Note/etc… Identify patterns and concepts to refine or explore to make the next part of this journey more effective. This work needs to be done as part of moving forward here. If I manage to tackle some of this on my retreat, that’ll be a huge win — and effective time management! 8^)
“Showing My Work”
For many years growing up, I often upset my math teachers because I didn’t “show my work” and rarely turned in my homework. When I aced their tests with illegible shorthand in the margins, I found their predictable frustration mildly amusing.
Dear reader, that bill has finally come due.
Writing doesn’t work like that.
If publishing something weekly while building a project this size isn’t “showing my work,” I don’t know what is. It is a very odd feeling to want to do something I typically found unnecessary and forced to do.
Like math class, it seems the ‘answer’ is clear. I can see what I’m building here. But what really matters is to work out the details and actually build it.
The process of this journey is arguably as important as the destination itself.
Not only do I need to show my work, I need to review it, and make-it-all-make-sense moving forward. In some way, it feels like I’m finally starting to take my work here “seriously.”
Though review and annotation of my work are secondary and bonus objectives of this retreat, both need to happen at some point, and I’m hopeful to make some progress this week.
If you’re curious what that looks like, here’s a “before” shot:
Dumbledore’s Pensive
I’ve compared writing to Dumbledore’s pensive: I put thoughts in there (write) and make room for more thinking. I have not addressed the other ‘feature’ of that magical device.
This week, I’ll be plunging my head into the pool of old thoughts. I crafted and collected them over a year and a half of challenge and growth, and I’m not really sure what to expect when I revisit them. Reading my previous work in a single push could be an adventure of its own.
Wish me luck. :)
Wrap
Though I really should know better than to forecast upcoming posts, next week should be part 2 of this missive. A report on My Second Attempt at Solitude seems a likely follow-up to this little adventure.
If you have questions about this retreat, or if anything I mentioned here sparks a comment, feel free to add your thoughts below.
Until next Saturday, I wish you a pleasant week.
Yours, from War to Writing,
- Terry 8^)
ps. The ‘Big Picture’ article is now over 6,000 words. It’s becoming a project of its own. Here’s the front page of the draft in case you’re curious where it’s going. :)
